YOU THINK YOU CAN DATE A RELATIONSHIP BLOGGER?
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I turned thirty-eight years old this week and finally, it seems my life is going in a direction that doesn’t require a defense attorney or a TB shot. I sent the manuscript for my very first book to a publisher, I was asked to plan a big party for a celebrity and I’m dating a guy who, thus far, doesn’t appear to have his pretty head completely up his plump and juicy ass.
I was about to give up on dating. Last month, I went on two dates. One date told me that I am too nice and the other told me that I am too hairy. Well, I’m not nice. I make fun of ugly babies and Asian drivers. I lie to my boss and talk shit about Oprah. These are not behaviors of a nice man. If I had known he didn’t want a nice guy, instead of meeting him at a well-lit restaurant at seven p.m., I would have met him at a bar at one a.m.
And I would have brought poppers.
And as far as me being too hairy? Big deal. That should’ve been the least of his concerns. Dating me is no easy feat. I’m a picky eater and I have the attention span of an inbred kitten. I’m independent, stubborn and often times, drunk. And probably the biggest deterrent that men face when considering a date with me is that I write a popular blog about sex and relationships.
No one really wants every detail of their date with me documented on a public website, right? Wrong. “Are you gonna write about this?” is the most commonly asked question I hear on a date. Truth is, I don’t write about every date- just the ones I learn from, whether the date was good or bad.
But for every man that doesn’t mind getting written about, there are five that will refuse to even have coffee with me. Yes, to many, relationship and dating bloggers are loved and admired but we are also feared and loathed. There’s a common perception that we’re intimidating, sex-crazed attention whores. Countless misconceptions and myths about relationship and dating bloggers exist, and lucky for you, I have listed just a few.
Myths About Relationship and Dating Bloggers
- We have a lot of sex with a lot of people. My God, I wish.
- Relationship bloggers are sexperts and are really good in bed. This is also a blatant lie. Most of the other dating bloggers I’ve slept with weren’t that great in bed. Wait, what?
- We create uncomfortable situations for writing material. While I will freely admit to staying on a bad date till it’s awkward end simply for blog material, I have never intentionally created a situation just to have something to write about. There’s enough legitimate craziness out there already without me conjuring it up.
- You must give up your anonymity to date a relationship blogger. Wrong! I always change names and details about people that I write about. If we’re on good terms and I write about you, I’ll let you read it before I publish it. If we’re not speaking then it means you’ve probably fucked me over and all bets are off.
- All dating and relationship bloggers wish we were Carrie Bradshaw. False. Not all. Just me. I like cheesy puns and expensive shoes. And of course, I love New York.
On a serious note, I must be doing something right because I get emails from single people on a daily basis, thanking me for the laughs but also thanking me for sharing my experiences. More importantly, they thank me for reminding them they are not alone in their pursuit of love.
Ah, yes, love.
Isn’t that what this is all about, anyway? Our desire to find love, to give love and to live happily ever after?
I was once asked, “Tyler, if you meet the right guy, and he asked you to stop writing about dating and relationships, what would you do?” I thought about it for a long time and then I realized, the right guy wouldn’t ask me to stop. He’d know how passionate I am about writing and how important it is to me, and he would never give me such an ultimatum. For me, writing is as essential as the air in my lungs and the vodka in my freezer.